How to Love
by potterforever098
Summary: Sixth year, Sirius and Marline struggle to deal with there feelings towards each other. But are there even feelings? They deal with it the only way they know - hurting each other. Drowning,hot brothers, food and serious grinding inc! S/M and L/J Reveiw!


**Hi everyone this is my first S/M fan fiction so please give me a bit of slack. I've being wanting to write this for a while because it upsets me that there isn't many out there as I love the story is going to be quite long so I hope you enjoy the journey with me, I'll be updating as much as possible and have already written a lot of the story so I can just upload it. All the characters belong to the amazing J.K Rowling, I own NOTHING.**

* * *

><p>''Perfect! I <em>couldn't <em>have chosen a better one myself if I'd have tried Lily!'' Marline watched herself twirl in the mirror with a grin smacked in the centre of her face. This dress was beautiful, she felt beautiful. The dress was black velvet with a square panel of mesh in the centre of the chest area, covering her cleavage but still exposing her assets which stopped on her shoulders. There was no back, leaving her back fully exposed in an oval shape. It came down to a few inches above her knees, tightly fitted with long sleeves.

''Yeah well as much as I'm sure you're enjoying admiring yourself, we have a feast to get to so pass me the dress and I'll go pay for it whilst you're getting dressed''.

It was sad to think that only this morning they had arrived back at Hogwarts and they had already purchased there party frocks. Dumbledore had announced at lunch that in a month from today, the half term party was to be held. Cheers erupted throughout the hall and Lily knew that if she had Marline were to get the best dresses they would have to go immediately.

By the time Lily and Marline reached the great hall, over half the students had already dispersed out, heading back to their common rooms. Lily sighed, after today she was far too tired to put up with the likes of Potter and in too far of a good mood to be made angry. She and Marline had probably picked the two nicest dresses in Hogesmeade there was no doubt about that.

All she had to worry about now was her date..

''EVAAAAAAANS!'' all the students turned to face the entrance of the great hall. ''Here we go'' Marline breathed. James came prancing down the halls wearing that stupid smirk of his with a equally as arrogant strut, followed by Remus and Sirius who both looked rather amused. ''Will you come to the dance with me flower? Oh please say you will!'' James placed his hand to his for head and fell to the ground, releasing roars of laughter throughout the whole room, including many teachers such as Dumbledore and McGonagall, whom both were wearing smug smiles.

''NO potter! I will not -'' ''Come-on!'' James interrupted, taking a seat next to Lily ''no one else is going to ask you, not whilst they know I'm trying!'' James took a seat next to Marline and nodded acknowledging her presence,whom seemed to be in some kind of trance staring at Sirius, who quite incidentally, was staring back.

Lily shot up in anger ''is that what you think! That I'm not good enough for anyone else?'' Lily seemed more upset than angry at this which was made apparent when her eyes became glassy from tears. ''Well James, though you seem to think I'm too ugly for anyone-'' James tried to interrupt but Lily quickly continued 'I actually did get asked to the dance by someone!' She snatched her books off the table and gritted through her teeth 'and I said yes!'' she left the hall. James stood there in awe, upset that Lily thought that he thought she couldn't get anyone else, frustrated that she was going with someone else and sulked off back to the common room.

On the way up Remus caught up with him. James looked hurt – not like the usual look he wears when he gets turned down but genuinely heart broken. He had to say something, anything to make him feel better. 'It's not what you think mate, I overheard Lily telling the girls that she didn't want to-' 'Forget it mate, I don't care anymore'. The two boys were walking side by side.

**Sirius POV**

Shit. I actually didn't realize how long I've being staring at Marls for. She's staring back so I see no harm in it, anyway. She looks _nice_, very pretty actually. Her hair had grown a bit since the end of Fifth year and she'd certainly 'developed' his gave travelled down to her chest he smirked.

''So-'' He coughed trying to defuse the tension. ''Who is it you're going to the dance with?'' He stood hand in pockets. ''Bet it's that Diggory kid, fucking looser if you..''Marline felt a surge of jealousy, she wanted to knock black down a notch, make him feel pain like he made her feel. ''Shut up Black, jealous that he gets my attention too?'' Marline smirked at how well that tasted coming out of her mouth. He breathed out a single 'ha' and leaned over her voice turning bitter.

He was angry, hurt by the same person again but he could make her feel 10 times worse, he always did. He breathed heavily down her neck causing her to shiver, which amused him all the more. 'Well McKinnon when you think about how many girls I have fucked compared to the total of ONE girl he has I think it's reasonable to see that I have nothing to be jealous of' His voice had now turned hoarse.

Marline pushed him back and left the hall not turning back once, with tears gathering in her eye's those beautiful blue eyes.  
>My stomach dropped watching her walk away. No. Why should I care? Like I actually cared about her I could have anyone he wanted any year. She was way too much effort for what she was worth. But I couldn't help forget that Marline was the most popular girl in there year and attracted too much attention from boys to be ignored, and then anyone could have her and I would lose her, I couldn't have that.<p>

**Marline POV.**  
>I ran up to the common room. It's funny, out of anywhere anyone could have gone (James,Lily,Remus) they all choose the same place she thought.<p>

She was going to ask Sirius but she was really contemplating and hoping that he would ask her. Since fourth year there had always being something more between Sirius and her than any of the others. She remembered the convosation James had with her a few weeks into term. 'Try with him marl, please for us'' he pleaded. ''Go on, he's stubborn but he needs you. More than me sometimes'' he was obviously trying to butter her up. How could Sirius need anyone? She needed to know who he was going with, she felt desperate and pathetic at why she cared so much.

She didn't even like Sirius and if anything was going to happen between the two it would've happened two years ago back in forth year when black first started fucking with her head. A single dear fell down her face and landed on her pillow. She closed her eyes ending the burning sensation that the tears caused. She thought back to the feast, how drop dead gorgeous he looked.

His hair was now shaggy, rather long and wavy. Quidditch has obviously done him the same justice it had to James. His shoulders were broad and he was well built with muscle. His cheek bones were well defined and his eye's – were so mysterious and enchanting. They were grey so unique. His smile was as arrogant as ever with a perfect set of white straight teeth which were complemented well by the olive skin tone he possessed, much like Marline's. She wasn't going to lose sleep over Black any more he didn't deserve it.

**Lilys POV**

The next morning Lily woke feeling rather fresh. It was Sunday, one day before lessons started. She glanced at the watch on her wrist. '8:00' it read, it was early to early perhaps for her to be up on a weekend.

She rolled over onto her side to face Marline's bed.

Lily felt her stomach turn with jealousy. She wasn't a jealous person but she hated how easy Marline had it. She was beautiful so beautiful that a rumor was even spread claiming that she was half vela. Marline found this hilarious and laughed it off but Lily sometimes wondered if this was true.

It made sense – every time she would walk past boys in the corridors or in class they would stop and stare. Her hair was the same length as Lily's, resting a few inches above her belly button It was a mixture of dirty blonde's, light browns and a few chunks that were ice blonde and it was dead straight. She has crystal clear blue eyes and a beautiful complexion that was olive with perfect teeth. Not only this, she was an incredibly bright witch and never struggled to receive outstanding in any assiment or test. She had the perfect family life much unlike Lily who wasn't even speaking to her sister at the moment. She had one downfall and that was giving her love away to easy. She was too kind and caring, especially for Sirius Black who seemed to have a hold over her no matter how much Marline denied it Lily knew her best friend.

She stood up and tiptoed through into the bathroom, it was still pitch black outside so Lily hoped none of the girls would see her. She looked into the mirror and sighed. 'Urgh' she muttered, she felt _ugly_.

Being around pretty people made her feel pathetic. Lily was too modest. She was the most popularist girl on par with Marline, and not because of her best friend but because Lily was a kind and caring witch. She was the most intelligent girl in there year and still made herself study weeks before exams. She was also extremely beautiful. She had long straight glossy deep red locks, that reached a few inches above her belly button. She had a very pale complexion that she despised but was envied by every other girl. She had bright green eyes that were large and a cute button noise. She had perfect teeth, and full deep red lips.

_'This is why you shouldn't get up so early Lily! You think too much about things_!' She thought to herself.

She undressed and slipped into the shower letting the heat of the water distract her from her thoughts, she hoped this year she would meet someone. Not that she needed a boy, but she would like to have someone else to talk to - like she and Sev used to.

The rest of the day was a blur once Marlene had awoken they had breakfast and went to the library to read, much to Marlene's misery. 'I don't understand how you cannot die of boredom in here Lily I'm dying!' She let out an over groan and dropped her head onto the table. Lily huffed but agreed to leave the library and join Marline in the common room playing chess.

The fire was burning emitting its head around the room. The weather was terrible rain was pouring from the skies and it was dark. Lily was sat on the floor by the fire looking out the window. She looked over to Marline who looked in deep thought.

'What's up?' Lily asked tilting her head slightly 'Oh erm can we go somewhere a bit more private?' Lily nodded leading the way up into their dorm. The girls had being terribly lucky by managing to get a dorm to themselves as the other dorm was full. Marline plonked herself down on her bed and laid back, Lily did the same.

**Marlene's POV**

'It's Sirius – _again_' Marlene muttered. Lily looked over, Marlene looked confused her brows drawn together. She went on to explain everything that happened at lunch the previous day and how felt about the whole situation, even telling Lily of her plan to ask Black to the dance.

'That idiot! He's so spiteful Marls! You see – that's the Marauders its all a game to them.'' Marlene nodded half agreeing with what Lily was saying. Lily didn't know Sirius like Marlene did. He was kind and incredibly sweet underneath his guard. Marlene thought back to the night her Gran died. She was up in the common room at around 12am and _he _was there. He cradled her whilst she sobbed into his chest and just sat and listened to her, he didn't pretend like he knew how she felt like the others he just listened.

'He knew it would get to you about them girls, he's such a slag!' Lily was angry now and even began pacing back and forth. Marlene quickly blinked forcing the tears that were welling up back into her eyes. Lily carried on her rant for another 20 minutes.

Explaining how Remus she could stand, he was nice and had a lot of common interests with Lily in fact, she spent a lot of time with Remus in the library especially on rounds as they were both prefects. Potter on the other hand was a bully. He had cost Lily her bestfriend Sev, and constantly pissed about doing pranks on other people with Black. He was no better, Black was a man-slag desired by the female population and admired by the boys, he was a pig though Lily didn't really dislike him.

Marline yawned 'I'm tired, think I'm going to go sit in the common room you coming?' Lily shook her head in response 'I'm to tired, I'm going to sleep dont go sleep to late we have lessons in the morning, and I won't be letting you sleep in!' Marlene chuckled 'Yes mother!'.

Marlene took her seat on the settee that sat in front of the fire. She put her head back letting it rest on some folded up blankets that sat on top of the settee. She was hoping he wouldn't take too long. She had to speak to him, tell him that she wanted to go with him.

Her stomach began doing flips as the portrait door flew open. She shot up fiddling with her fingers to stop the nerves.  
>'Marls?' he called. She let out a small smile 'Hi, I was waiting for you I-' He cut her off giving her time to take in his appearance his hair was more rugged then usual and his shirt was unbuttoned and hanging loosely.<p>

His voice was incredibly soft and caring to say they had a moment earlier on. 'You should get to bed you shouldn't be here you-' this time he was cut off as the portrait flung open again. Marlene couldn't make out who it was, the hallway was dark but the voice was becoming more clear.

'Sirius! Sorry I had to make sure we didn't enter at the same time people would.. Oh' Marlene stood staring at the girl it was Rebecca Hansworth, year above Marlene and Sirius and the biggest slut Marlene had met, she'd being with over half the boys in sixth and seventh year she had a short brown hair and as James would've put it 'massive knockers'.

Her stomach sunk and she suddenly gained a huge ball in her throat. Rebecca and Sirius were both staring at her, exchanging looks. They didn't have to say anything she knew. Sirius had shagged Rebecca in the broom closet. Using her, just how he uses every other girl.

'I see' she croaked.

Detecting her tone of voice Sirius went to grab her hand but she snatched it away and ran up to the dormitory she drew her curtains around her bed and cast the Muffalo charm. Tears seeped out of her eyes; she no longer had control over her emotions. She felt used.

How could he do this to her after everything? She no longer cared about the party she didn't even want to go. Was it her he was taking? Rebecca, knowing that after he could go back to his dorm and shag her? Images flooded Marlines mind of them two, grinding together on the dance floor him holding her close, just how he used to cuddle Marline.

Her main priority was hurting Sirius just how he had hurt her and she knew exactly who to use to push all of his buttons, and so she jumped out of bed in nothing but a thin white strap vest and short grey pajama shorts and headed down to the dungeons.

* * *

><p>AN

**I'm really sorry if you found the story crap so far! I just wanted to explain what's going on. I know it started differently to the other's in the sense it didn't start on the platform ect but the day at Hogsmede and the incident between Marline and Sirius was still on the first day. I also know it starts already in Marline and Sirius complicated relationship which is confusing so I wanted to explain what's gone off. They've had deeper emotions since fourth year and always cared for each other more than they let on. Sirius dealt with his family problems by sleeping with girls. Marline really likes him and he likes her but knows he can't express his feelings or willing to give up the sex in case she doesn't return his feelings. Also if you're wondering about Lily and James, I have no intention of getting them together straight away because in the books they weren't dating until 7****th**** year. Oh and peter won't be in it because I dislike him. I'd love a review to help me improve and any story ideas that you think would be good. But please don't be too harsh as it's my first go and I'm learning. Is the diffrent POV too much? Is the pace too fast?****  
><strong>**Thanks, Millie.**


End file.
